


Derek Hale's life is not perfect. Or maybe it is

by alphano



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alive Hale Family, Alive Laura Hale, Witch Stiles Stilinski
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-08
Updated: 2014-09-14
Packaged: 2018-01-18 16:18:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1434820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alphano/pseuds/alphano
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek has two kids with Stiles and those two kids have him wrapped around their little fingers (and their fingers are really small so that is saying something). Also he somehow ended up being a stay-at-home dad, who watches way too much cartoons and his sisters make fun of him for that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Do you wanna build a snowman?” 

Little Kelly was pulling tugging at Derek’s sleeve and were he the old Derek, he would sigh, but just hearing Kelly sing that song and smile in his face is enough for him to smile. OK and sigh a little too, but just because he made the mistake of buying his daughter Frozen on DVD and she has been singing the snowman song all the time. Well maybe he knew the lyrics too. And enjoyed the movie. But just a little bit. And it wasn’t even him, who bought the damn thing, no it was Stiles, who was currently away on yet another business trip, while he was home with the kids. Not that he minded the little buggers, but he had a reputation to uphold. After all he was supposed to be the grumpy wolf, who makes Stiles quiver a bit. But if he had Kelly and Ash around, he just couldn’t be bothered to care. And after all it was only Stiles, Laura, and Cora, who made fun of him for that. And Stiles didn’t really count, because he helped make Kelly and Ash. And named Ash. Derek swore the kid would be scarred for life, because everyone around him would sing the Pokemon theme song, but Stiles just grinned and stated, that if he came along alright with his name, their son will be fine with the name of a great Pokemon trainer. 

So yes, Derek was at home with a four-year-old, who wanted to build a snowman in the middle of the summer in California of all the places, and a grumpy (Derek wondered where he got that from) 10-month-old. In Ash’s defense the full moon was due the next day and as Stiles claimed only Kelly inherited his magical superpowers along with the werewolf gene, whereas Ash only got the werewolf gene.

“Honey, we can’t build a snowman, there’s no snow,” Derek replied calmly, but did that sway his daughter? Nope, she got her stubbornness from Stiles.

“But daddy can make it snow!”

Ah, here was the sigh, that was expected from Derek.


	2. Chapter 2

Since Derek wasn’t able to fulfil Kelly’s wishes to build a snowman, they had to settle on her watching Frozen yet again. Actually Derek was bullied into it. But if anyone asks he wasn’t bullied into anything by anyone, especially not by a tiny four-year-old girl. Not that his girl wasn’t fierceless and very persuasive. Oh god, he was so going to go prematurely grey when she would become into a teenager and started dating. No, scratch that, his little girl won’t date anyone. EVER!

“Winter’s a good time to stay in and cuddle, but put me in summer and I’ll be a… happy snowman! Dad you have to sing with me!”

And what could he say to his little princess? That he won’t sing with her? And even Ash was humming something, though if Derek knew, whether Ash was actually enjoying the music or just doing it to confuse him… Well that would be great.

So that’s how Stiles found him. Big deal. Only that Stiles had his dopey smile on. The dopey smile that meant Laura and Cora will hear all about it. He wasn’t turning soft, he really wasn’t. Though if anyone asked either of his sisters, he started going soft after Stiles got under his skin. Which Derek didn’t knew how happened anyway, since Stiles was always bugging him.

“Hello mia familia!” Derek’s better half screamed just as Sven and Olaf had another issue about the carrot nose. 

“Daddy!!!!!” was the immediate response of their daughter, who, quite unceremoniously climbed and jumped over Derek (and while doing that also hit a soft spot) so he really had a hard time of keeping Ash out of danger. And yes he was in pain caused by a four-year-old. Sue him. 

But the pain got away as soon as Stiles’ lips met his and it was just a perfect scene - each of them with a child in their arms, kissing ever so slightly, but it still got Derek’s blood boiling and the wolf in him wanted to claim what was his, to rid Stiles of the smell of other people on him…

However enjoyable those plans were in his head, they were immediately interrupted by Stiles spotting the scene on TV,

“Oh great, this is my favorite part!”

But of course that got a giggle out of Kelly,

“Daddy, everything is your favorite part!”


	3. Chapter 3

Stiles was home so Derek didn’t have to deal with their two children as much, since they were both bothering Stiles. OK maybe he was a little jealous, though he didn’t know if it was because he wanted to be the one bothering Stiles or because the children both prefered Stiles over him (though to be fair he did spend every waking moment with them). But yes, Ash was cooing inside the house now because Stiles and Kelly were giving him a bath, both of them singing The circle of life for no good reason. There was just too many Disney songs singing in his house and if he didn’t love both Stiles and Kelly, he would have a mental breakdown. Hell, he still might have a mental breakdown.

“So Stiles is home…”

Derek nearly had a heart attack, that’s how much Peter scared him. The dude was really working too hard on sneaking up to people and heck even werewolves. That’s why he was wolfed out, ready to protect his little family and Peter was just standing there, laughing as a maniac. Great, now he would have to endure some awful comments from his uncle.

“Nobody likes you, you know,” he said, just for the sake of it, because he really wanted to kick Peter right now, but did that help? No, it probably made everything worse.

“What, didn’t you give Stiles your lollipop to lick and now you’re grumpy?”

Yep, definitely worse. Only Peter could make a comment like that and he wanted to die right there, right then. But because it was Derek’s life of course something even more horrible had to happen: Kelly came running down the stairs, because for some reason she was the only one in their ENTIRE family (and he did mean the entire family, including all his cousins and aunts and extended family) that liked Peter.

“I want a lollipop, creepy uncle Peter!!!”

Oh god, why was this Derek’s life? Really, his four-year-old baby had to hear it and now Peter was just snickering. Derek wanted for the ground to open up and swallow him. But that wasn’t the end of the torture, no sire, because after Kelly also came Stiles and Ash.

“Cee-eey unnle Peee!”

Well that definitely had Derek’s attention,

“Did my son just speak?!” He was pretty sure his voice wasn’t that high. Nope, not at all, he wasn’t capable of such high notes with his deep, masculine voice. But Stiles… Stiles was grinning… like… like he was proud.

“That’s my baby boy, recognizing his family,” he said to the boy and then quickly added, “Though you could’ve said daddy first, not creepy uncle Peter.

Of course Ash’s first fords just had to be that… What did Derek ever do to anybody? Oh god, Laura and Cora will make fun of him for that, because hey, his son’s first words were… well that. And not to mention Peter. He will never let him live it down. He could even without looking at the bastard being all smug. Though he did say Pee and not Peter. At least something. He was going to call Peter Pee from now on.


	4. Chapter 4

For some unknown reason Peter stayed at their house even after being called Pee numerous times by himself and Stiles so in order not to have to listen to him (too much, because he could still hear him and Peter knew that too) Derek decided to go lie outside and text Laura for a bit.

**DEREK:** _Ash just called Peter Pee =)_

**LAURA:** _Wait since when does Ash talk and why wasn’t his first word Laura?! Or Lau?!_

**LAURA:** _WAIT DID YOU SAY PEE?????_

**LAURA:** _MY NEPHEW CALLED PETER PEE?????_

**LAURA:** _I LOVE HIM!!!!!_

Derek chuckled. Of course it would be just like Laura to send him four freaking texts instead of one. It was even more like her that before he could even answer to any of those four messages he also got a text from Cora.

**CORA:** _Why am I the last one to know everything? And Pee is Peter’s official name from now on. Also why do I feel like Stiles likes me more than my own brother?_

Just for the sake of it he decided to reply to Cora first.

**DEREK:** _I just texted Laura ten seconds ago. Technically you are the second to know. *sigh* And yes, I’m using that too. Why would Stiles like you more than I do? I swear if you try your moves on him again I will chase you down and make you feel pain._

Yes, he did have to add the sigh part into his text, because he was acting like a five-year old, which still put him a year ahead of Kelly and two years ahead of Stiles. Besides, Cora was always acting like the baby she was. And OK maybe he was still jealous that Cora and Stiles had two dates before he got his shit together and asked Stiles out. He still wasn’t sure if those two idiots really dated or just “dated” to piss him off. And it wasn’t like one of them would ever tell him the truth, because it was just so much more fun to see him struggle with things. Like jealousy. Because everyone thought Derek being jealous was soooooooo cute. Well it isn’t. It just makes him feel like he wants to rip things/people apart and claim what is his, which also involves not letting Stiles out of their bedroom for a week or two. He did just that a couple of times. Like when Lydia Martin broke up with Jackson and came whining to Stiles. And when Isaac had issues. And when he found out Stiles was pregnant with Kelly. OK maybe he did it a bit too much and that was why Stiles cursed his ass (which meant froze him into place and put a calming spell on him) before telling him about being pregnant with Ash.

**CORA:** _You’re a dick. A lovesick dick. And you know Stiles can have me anytime he wants ;)_

Why did he have to read that??? No, scratch that, why did Cora have to write that??? Because instead of him replying to Laura like the good brother he was, he had thrown his phone as far as he could (which was really far for a werewolf) immediately after reading the text. And he might have squealed just a bit. And that was why Peter was chucking.


	5. Chapter 5

Derek had to call Laura from Stiles’ phone, because Stiles was laughing too hard at what Derek just did. And even though he could probably hear the phone just by someone ringing it, he wanted a little bit of alone time with Stiles (yes he was a sucker like that) and didn’t want to leave uncle Peter alone with his kids (because god help him then) he had to call Laura. He was pretty sure calling Cora would be worse (even though he knew Laura would tell Cora everything). Of course he could call any of his two older brothers, but let’s just say that leaving either one of those two alone with Peter is never a good idea. With that thought Derek realized he was turning into his mother and he groaned a bit. But hey, he had alone time with Stiles to look forward to. So yes he endured Laura making fun of him for tossing his phone so hard it flew too far into the woods and then just grabbed Stiles’ hand and led him into the woods.

The couple didn’t have to get far before Derek had Stiles pinned against some tree.

“What, should I be afraid of the big bad wolf?” Stiles joked. 

To that Derek only rolled his eyes and then attacked the younger man’s lips. Oh it felt good to taste those lips again and to smell Stiles and to feel his slim body tense under his probing fingers. Derek could even feel his fangs starting to expand, which only ever happened with Stiles and Stiles thought it was so cool and hot that Derek couldn’t keep his chill even when the two were just making out. Though one could barely call them making out innocent, because Stiles was always making these _noises_ that made Derek go crazy with lust and the wolf inside of him just wanted to take Stiles right then and there no matter where they were. Kind of like what was happening in the woods and Stiles especially should be in such an uncomfortable position since wood was pressing into him, but Derek just wouldn’t stop. Yes, Stiles had him completely broken and OK Derek just missed him when he went away on those business trips. But no matter how much convincing he did about his family having enough money to support them even if they both stayed at home, Stiles wouldn’t even budge. Derek was pretty sure there was a part about them not getting out of their bed ever if that happened mentioned by Stiles too, but he couldn’t remember at that very moment. Nope, persuading Stiles with his lips and his exploring hands to make even more obscene noises was his top priority then.

But then, just after Stiles moaning something that was so _dirty_ , Stiles’ phone rang. Derek decided to ignore it, but Stiles somehow pulled away from the kiss, moaning something about that being Laura’s ringtone. Which shouldn’t really surprise Derek, given the ringtone.

“SERIOUSLY STILES MY RINGTONE IS BARBIE GIRL?!”

Derek could hear Cora, Peter and both his older brothers snickering in the background. Great, the whole destruction team was gathered at his home.

“Oh and I thought you two were going to search for Derek’s phone, not having a go at each other.”

With that the line went dead and Derek just started to bang his head against the tree a couple of times. Someone really hated him. Probably all his siblings. And Peter. Let’s not forget Peter.


	6. Chapter 6

When he found his phone he had three missed calls from his mother. Apparently his phone was set on silent when he threw it into the woods. And since three calls was a lot, even for his mom, he immediately called her back, while Stiles decided it would be a great time to test Derek’s ability to hold up a conversation while otherwise detained. And yes that meant Stiles put a lot of attention to his crotch area.

Of course his mother answered on the first ring, which also happened to be just as Derek let out a moan.

“Are you calling me in the middle of sex with Stiles?”

Derek sighed.

“Hello to you too mom. What did you want?”

Another moan. Stiles loved torturing him and Derek was pretty sure he would either die from pleasure or the embarrassment.

“I want my son not to be calling me while he’s having sex.”

Somehow Stiles heard that and snickered to cover up the sound of unzipping Derek’s zipper.

“I am not having sex,” Derek replied while shooting a murderous stare at Stiles. _Not yet anyway,_ he added in his head. “What did you call me for?”

Now Stiles was pulling his pants and his boxers down all while looking at him really wickedly.

“Oh that, I wanted to know if my grandson’s first words were really creepy uncle Peter.”

Stiles wetted his lips.

“It was actually creepy uncle Pee, but yes. Anyhow I got to go mom.”

He hung up at that and he could have sworn his mom said, that she knew he was having sex. But it didn’t really matter, since Stiles just took him in his mouth. Pleasure. He was definitely going to die from pleasure.


	7. Chapter 7

Stiles and Derek took their sweet, sweet time in the forest before they went back to the house, holding their hands of course. Because of an unknown reason his mom was there and Laura snapped a picture of him and Stiles.

“You two are so adorable. All my followers on Instagram think so too, just so you know,” she told Derek as she apparently posted the picture online. Derek groaned, but Stiles got a mischievous smile on that face. 

“Well then let’s give them a picture worth looking at.”

And Derek should be scared for his life, but the moment Stiles’ lips touched his and their tongues started a well known dance, he forgot about everything and just pulled his mate closer to him as the kiss got dirtier and dirtier.

“Eww!” That was Cora.

“Not in front of the kids!” Laura.

“Daddies are being lovey dovey!!!” Kelly, as always.

“Derek I told you two should not start the sort of thing you are starting while you have visitors!” His mom.

“Bow chicka wow wow!” His oldest brother James and Derek still couldn’t be bothered.

“You two should get a room!” Second brother Charlie.

“Does anyone have popcorn?” Peter.

“Cee-eey Peee!!!” And that was what broke Derek’s attention back from Stiles’ lips. The whole family burst out with laughter as Peter just looked like he got slapped. By a 10-month-old no less. Derek was torn between being proud of his son or worried that his first words were that. Why, oh why did Stiles have to say creepy uncle Peter in front of Ash so many times?

He was going with worried since Stiles decided to go with proud and was immediately praising Ash.

“Derek, why does your son keep calling me creepy?” Derek wanted to answer, he really did, it’s just that his kids were also Stiles’ kids which meant they were hyperactive and spoke their mind. 

“Because you are creepy uncle Peter! Both daddies say so!”


End file.
